One step forward

You know, I'm learning to take each day at a time. Some days I feel like I am doing great and some days I feel like a total failure who stays in jammies all day and makes messes when my husband works hard to support us, but there is always another day to try to do better. I'm trying to look at what is realistically achievable for me and look at what my ideal is, then find a middle ground. By taking small daily steps towards what I want without beating myself up when I don't meet my ideal. It is easy to fall into a guilt trap but nothing really changes that way.

I think a important thing is finding balance but balance is not stagnant, it is a constantly changing and shifting thing. So you don't "achieve a balanced life" and get to hang out there, it is something you actively work at constantly, by making adjustments . You balance when you ride a bike or a horse, why would daily life be any different?

 Also no person is going to be able to be awesome in every area of their life, so you have to prioritize. For example I'm sure my husband would like it if I was more into cleaning but I am not so the house is usually fairly messy, not really dirty but messy. Cleaning is boring so gets a lower priority, feeding everyone is important to me so I always have good meals planned.

 In addition to the bare minimum of things I have to do on a daily basis I'm also drawing up a list of monthly goals to work towards so I feel like I am accomplishing things, this is not a thing to beat myself up over but something that encourages me. Some days are harder (today kiddo will not be put down) but I have also found if I am having a reeeeeeeeally hard time doing my chores it is usually because I am not making time for myself, often if I meet my needs (or just some of them) then everything else becomes easier.

I'm also learning to listen to my cravings, for example I recently got obsessed with expensive lingerie, like spending hours lusting over things I can't afford. I spent sometime thinking about it and came up with the word "luxury", I am craving luxury and my daily life isn't providing it, so I am making it a priority to do the things that make me feel beautiful and glamorous.